The NESSENTIALS

Having shared our venue decision-making process (narrowing options down, our first and second viewing, after which we signed a contract) I thought I’d take a step back into the past to share how I made my wedding dress decision. Some folks might find it strange that I made a decision on this so early, and they may be even more surprised that I made it without trying on my final choice!

Wedding dresses seem to be an emotive topic for femme engaged folks, and initially I didn’t get it. I didn’t grow up picturing how I’d look on my wedding day, and the media showed me brides but they didn’t really look like me. Nevertheless I couldn’t help desiring the Daisy dress by House of Mooshki when I first saw it (it might have been before our engagement, but not by much).

It clicked: I’m short, why hide it? I quite like the shape of my legs, actually, so this would show them off. It would cover my shoulders, making me feel less insecure about them. But the thing that always gets you is the price (saving you a click for more details, on average it retails for £1,375).

Even at the time of our time of our engagement it was from an older season of wedding dresses, so fewer shops still had it in stock, or I had to buy it preloved (which I have nothing against, wedding dresses shouldn’t be one-event clothes). It was tough finding stockists (though in writing this I’ve found one with an amazing discount, bringing it to £350 if you like the design and fit the sizing), and resellers were trying not to make too much of a loss, understandably.

I realised I would have to compromise on something. Clearly it was going to have to be the designer label, as I was keen on keeping the aesthetic. My research led me to Kitty and Dulcie (Hopelessly Devoted seems like a good dupe for £385), and to a retro dress shop called Dig for Victory with a custom dress option (£395 base, £490 with additions). With only a little more to get closer to my vision, I opted for the latter.

Again, not one for the traditional wedding experience (and at the time confined by government restrictions), I was joined by one bridesmaid who happened to be free, and fancied a trip to Brighton (where we dined and strolled around in our time between trains). She was kind enough to take photos at the time as well, which I’m using in this post.

At first I was worried that I was being too bossy, and limiting myself to what I thought would look good which would lead me to missing out on something I hadn’t even imagined, but if you show up to a vintage-style wedding dress shop style doesn’t change wildly and the shop attendant confirmed that customers who knew what they wanted were exactly as happy as other brides at the end of the day.

The attendant took my measurements after I described my vision of a dress, mentally adding some 3/4 sleeves to the Daisy, and then I tried on some that emulated parts of the style that I wanted (as well as one that was not much like what I wanted, just to find out if I was just staying in my comfort zone).

I’m sure it’s been said repeatedly before, but trying out dresses that don’t fit won’t flatter you, so ignore the numbers on the label and just focus on what makes you feel like you look good. It’s another reminder that the clothing industry are not cool for defying uniformity (and I will always be campaigning for the metric system to apply, even if folks don’t like those numbers).

I ended up with a dress that will be unique to me, fit me like a glove, and that I’ve not even tried on yet! I will probably only return to the dress shop for my final fitting (to make adjustments like taking it in or letting it out) 3 months before the big day, to not incur further tailoring charges. And with that, I bought my £490 wedding dress. Not a fast fashion steal for £100 or less, but certainly under the UK average.

Continuing the blast from the past content, I will recap the photographer and videographer search. If you have any specific questions you want me to answer, comment below and I’ll make sure to include those points.